What does the Bible say about divorce? Matthew 19 explained
The Bible sees marriage as a lifelong covenant and divorce as a breach of it, and Jesus names one exception: sexual unfaithfulness. Moses allowed divorce “because of the hardness of your hearts”, Paul addresses desertion by an unbelieving spouse, and Christians differ on remarriage. None of these texts asks anyone to stay exposed to violence.
Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Malachi speaks to men who were abandoning “the wife of thy youth”, with God as witness to the covenant. The KJV renders verse 16 “he hateth putting away”, the old phrase for divorce — the Hebrew is difficult, and some translations read it differently — and the same verse condemns the one who “covereth violence with his garment”.
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
The question was whether a man could divorce his wife “for every cause”, a live debate among the rabbis of the day over Deuteronomy 24:1. Jesus goes back to creation and concludes: “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”.
They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Moses permitted divorce, but “from the beginning it was not so”, and Jesus makes one exception: “except it be for fornication” — the Greek word, porneia, covers sexual sin broadly. Mark 10:11-12 and Luke 16:18 record the saying without the exception, which is why Christians read it in different ways (see below).
When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.
The text the Pharisees quoted does not command divorce; it regulates a practice that already existed. The bill of divorcement left the woman free to remarry, and the first husband could not take her back — a check on men who discarded their wives.
And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
Paul passes on Jesus’ teaching to married believers: do not separate. If a separation happens, the way he points to is to “remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband”.
But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
For someone married to an unbeliever: if the other wants to stay, stay; if they leave, “A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases”. Many churches see here a second situation that ends a marriage, desertion; others see only freedom from fighting to keep someone who has gone — and the verse ends: “God hath called us to peace”.
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
The marriage the Bible describes is a place of care: husbands are told to love their wives and forbidden even to be bitter toward them. Violence contradicts everything the covenant promises, and no biblical text asks someone who is being abused to stay in danger.
On remarriage there are three main readings. In the first, the exception in Matthew 19:9 and the desertion in 1 Corinthians 7:15 dissolve the bond, and a spouse who was betrayed or deserted may remarry — the position of many evangelical churches. In the second, the exception allows separation but not remarriage while the spouse is alive, because Mark and Luke do not include it and Paul says to remain unmarried (1 Corinthians 7:11). The third reads the sexual sin of Matthew 19:9 as unions that were never valid marriages, or unfaithfulness during betrothal, the kind Joseph suspected of Mary (Matthew 1:19). The Catholic Church holds a valid sacramental marriage to be indissoluble and, after a formal process, can declare that a marriage was null from the start. Many churches weigh each case with pastoral care, treating divorce as the fruit of sin but not as a sin beyond forgiveness.
Frequently asked questions
Does the Bible allow divorce?
The Bible does not recommend it: Jesus says it was not so from the beginning. But he himself names sexual unfaithfulness as an exception (Matthew 19:9), and Paul addresses an unbelieving spouse who walks out of the marriage (1 Corinthians 7:15). How far those exceptions reach is what churches debate.
Can a divorced Christian remarry?
This is where Christians truly differ. Many evangelical churches allow remarriage for a spouse who was betrayed or deserted; others only after the former spouse has died (Romans 7:2-3); the Catholic Church does not recognize divorce but can declare a marriage null. The main readings are set out below.
Can I divorce if my marriage is unhappy?
Unhappiness alone does not appear in these texts as a reason for divorce, and Paul points toward reconciliation (1 Corinthians 7:11). An unhappy marriage calls for help before any decision: honest conversation, pastoral counseling, couples therapy. But unhappiness is not the same as abuse — see the next question.
Does the Bible require staying in an abusive marriage?
No. Faith does not require anyone to endure violence: Malachi 2:16 condemns the one who “covereth violence with his garment”, and Proverbs teaches that “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself”. David fled from someone who wanted to kill him, with his wife’s help (1 Samuel 19:12): seeking safety is not a sin. Reach out to people you trust, your church leaders and local protection services; if you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number (911 in the US).
